Why do others have more influence in my organization than I do?
Others have more influence in your organization because they consciously or unconsciously know and apply the unwritten rules of how things work there. Influence at work is rarely about who works the hardest or has the most expertise. It comes down to visibility, positioning, and strategic relationships. In this article, we answer the most frequently asked questions about building influence in organizations.
What actually determines how much influence someone has at work?
Influence in an organization is shaped by three factors: visibility, credibility, and relationships. Those who are seen as adding value, who know the right people, and who understand how decisions are made tend to carry more weight. Formal job titles play a far smaller role in this than most people assume.
Many professionals assume that influence grows naturally with knowledge and experience. That’s partly true, but there’s a difference between having expertise and being perceived as an expert. Influence is largely a social phenomenon — it exists in the eyes of others. Someone who rarely shares their opinion in meetings, stays modest about their own achievements, and has little presence in informal networks is less likely to be seen as influential, no matter how capable they are.
The ability to persuade others also plays a crucial role. This isn’t just about making good arguments — it’s about timing, tone, and understanding what drives the people around you. Those who know what their colleagues and managers care about can tailor their message accordingly and make a much greater impact.
Why do others notice your colleague’s contributions more than yours?
Others notice your colleague’s contributions more because visibility and attribution don’t happen automatically. If you deliver results but rarely talk about them, or if your work happens behind the scenes, a colleague who does less but communicates more will get the credit faster. This has nothing to do with fairness — it’s simply how people process information.
People tend to attribute success to those who are most present in their awareness. A colleague who regularly shares updates, shows up at strategic conversations, and actively associates their name with projects is more readily linked to success. You may be doing the same work, but if you don’t make it visible, it goes unnoticed.
There’s another dynamic at play, particularly for women. Research and practical experience show that women more often than men tend to attribute results to the team, while men more frequently use the word “I.” That’s an admirable quality in itself, but it has a downside: if you always say “we achieved this,” no one knows exactly what your individual contribution was.
What unwritten rules determine who gains influence?
The unwritten rules that determine who gains influence in an organization revolve around visibility, alliances, and an understanding of informal power structures. Those who follow the formal rules but ignore the informal ones are only playing half the game. In organizations, influence is largely distributed outside the meeting room.
One of the most important unwritten rules is that decisions are rarely made in the official meeting. They are shaped in the hallways, by the coffee machine, or in brief one-on-one conversations. Those who aren’t present in those informal moments have less opportunity to shape the outcome. This doesn’t mean you need to be everywhere — but it does mean making deliberate choices about where you invest your energy.
Another unwritten rule is that self-promotion, when done subtly, is rewarded. Those who wait for others to notice their qualities often wait too long. Strategically sharing your successes, connecting your name to relevant projects, and actively seeking out challenging assignments all help you build a reputation for influence more quickly.
Finally, understanding the power dynamics within an organization matters enormously. Who holds formal authority? Who holds informal authority? And who are the people who influence others without ever being in the spotlight themselves? If you can read that map, you understand how organizational politics works in your specific context.
How does an influential colleague’s network differ from yours?
Influential colleagues deliberately build a strategic network, while most people let their network develop organically through day-to-day contact. The difference isn’t in the size of the network, but in its diversity and the intentional choices behind the connections. Those who are only connected to their immediate colleagues have a limited reach.
A strong network for influence consists of three types of connections. First, people above you in the hierarchy, who give you visibility with decision-makers. Second, people outside your own department, who keep you informed about what’s happening across the organization. And third, people in informal positions of influence — such as the employee everyone knows or the advisor to senior leadership. Those who have all three types of connections have a network that actually works.
Influential colleagues also actively invest in their relationships. They reach out without a specific reason, they help others without expecting anything in return, and they show up at moments that matter. For them, networking isn’t a task on the to-do list — it’s a way of working that’s woven into their daily practice.
What can you do differently tomorrow to start building more influence?
Building more influence at work starts with three concrete actions: making your contributions visible, seeking out strategic conversations, and being intentional about your network. You don’t need to change your personality to do this. Small, targeted adjustments to your behavior can produce noticeable results in a short amount of time.
Here are the most direct steps you can take starting tomorrow:
- Communicate your results actively. Share updates on ongoing projects with relevant colleagues and managers, even when no one asks. Use the words “I” and “my contribution” where appropriate.
- Seek out informal conversations. Take five minutes to stop by a manager’s or influential colleague’s desk — without an agenda. Presence builds trust.
- Make your position clear in meetings. Those who stay silent don’t exist in others’ perception. You don’t need to speak up every time, but be deliberate about when you do.
- Connect your name to a relevant initiative. Volunteer for a project, working group, or task force that gives you visibility across the organization.
- Identify three people outside your immediate team with whom you want to build a relationship this quarter. Schedule a conversation, even if there’s no specific reason for it.
Building influence is a skill, not a talent. It requires deliberate choices and repetition — but it can be learned by anyone willing to put in the attention.
When is gaining more influence a matter of strategy rather than personality?
Gaining more influence is always a matter of strategy, not personality. The misconception that influential people are simply naturally extroverted, assertive, or charismatic keeps many professionals unnecessarily stuck. Influence is a set of skills and choices that can be developed, regardless of who you naturally are.
Introverted people can be just as influential as extroverted ones — they simply go about it differently. Where an extrovert builds influence in large groups and public presentations, an introvert does so through one-on-one conversations, written communication, or by demonstrating deep expertise. Both approaches work, as long as they are applied with intention.
The strategic dimension of influence is all about understanding the playing field. Who are the decision-makers? What are their interests? How are decisions actually made in your organization? If you can answer those questions, you can align your actions accordingly. That’s strategy — not a personality overhaul.
This is also precisely why women who are stuck on the question “how do I gain more influence?” don’t benefit from generic confidence training. What they need are concrete strategic insights that align with how their specific organization works and who they are as individuals.
How we help you build influence in organizations
At InTouch, we have been working with ambitious women asking exactly these questions for nearly 30 years. Time and again, we see that the issue isn’t a lack of talent or ambition — it’s a lack of strategic knowledge about how the game is played in organizations.
Our Masterclass Stratego for Women is our flagship six-month program, offering ambitious women concrete tools to build their influence in organizations. In this program, you will learn, among other things:
- How to understand and apply the unwritten rules in your organization
- How to conduct a power dynamics analysis and recognize the types of players you’re dealing with
- How to network strategically in a way that suits you
- How to position and present yourself with confidence — without pretending to be someone you’re not
- How to negotiate and assert your position at key moments
The program takes place in small groups of no more than 12 women, ensuring there is space for your personal situation and experiences. The approach is no-nonsense and immediately applicable: no vague theory, just concrete strategies for the practice of tomorrow.
Want to find out whether the Masterclass is right for you, or do you have questions about our approach? Get in touch with us and we’d be happy to think it through with you.
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How do I know whether I actually have less influence than my colleagues, or whether I'm just imagining it?
A good way to check is to look at who gets invited to strategic conversations, who is asked for input on important decisions, and whose name comes up when a project is being discussed. If you are consistently absent from that list despite having the knowledge and experience, there is likely a visibility or positioning issue at play. It can also help to ask a trusted colleague or manager directly how they perceive your role and contributions — the answer can be very revealing.
What if my organizational culture actively discourages self-promotion? How do I build influence without triggering a negative reaction?
In cultures where open self-promotion is unwelcome, subtle visibility works best. Share results through updates to your manager, write a brief summary after a successful project, or ensure that others introduce and recommend you — that is far more powerful than promoting yourself directly. The goal isn't to shout louder; it's to make sure the right people know what you contribute at the right moments. Strategic networking and showing up at informal moments are often more effective in such cultures than formal self-promotion.
How do I build a strategic network when I have little time outside my regular work?
Strategic networking doesn't have to take much time if you approach it with focus. Deliberately choose two or three people per quarter with whom you want to deepen a relationship, rather than trying to know everyone. Make use of existing moments — such as meetings, team lunches, or company events — to have short, meaningful conversations. Five minutes of genuine attention for someone is more valuable than half an hour at a superficial networking event.
I'm introverted and find it difficult to speak up in large meetings. How can I still become more visible?
Visibility doesn't have to come through large groups. As an introvert, you can build influence through one-on-one conversations before a meeting, so that your perspective is already known before the discussion begins. Written communication is another strong route: a well-reasoned email or a clear memo can have just as much impact as a contribution in a meeting. Choose one moment per meeting where you deliberately contribute something — consistency over time matters more than volume.
How do I handle a colleague who takes my ideas and presents them as their own?
This is a common problem that calls for a proactive approach: make sure your ideas are already visible before they are discussed in a group setting. Send your idea in advance by email to the relevant stakeholders, mention it in a one-on-one conversation with your manager, or document it in meeting notes. If it happens anyway, you can calmly and without accusation redirect the credit: 'Great that this idea is being picked up — I had already discussed this earlier with [name].' That reclaims your ownership without creating conflict.
When is it a good idea to look for a mentor or sponsor, and what is the difference between the two?
A mentor offers you advice, reflection, and guidance based on their own experience — valuable for your personal development. A sponsor is someone with influence in the organization who actively mentions your name in the right rooms and recommends you for opportunities, even when you're not in the room yourself. When it comes to building organizational influence, a sponsor is often more powerful than a mentor. Look for a sponsor once you have a clear sense of where you want to go and something to offer the relationship — sponsorship is built on mutual trust and added value.
How long does it take before I notice a meaningful increase in influence after applying these strategies?
Small behavioral changes — such as communicating more actively about your work or being more present at informal moments — can lead to noticeably different responses from those around you within just a few weeks. Building a strategic network and a solid reputation is a process that takes several months. Realistically, after three to six months of consistent behavior, you will notice a difference in how you are perceived and how often you are involved in decisions. Building influence is not a sprint — it's an investment that pays off over time.